• Book Excerpt

  • IF ONLY I WERE GOD

    INTRODUCTION

    1. GENESIS……………………………………………………………………1
    2. MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?……27
    3. PARADISE LOST…………………………………………………………41
    4. OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN………………………..….50
    5. THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE……………………………..57
    6. THE BIG BANG………………………………………………………..…66

    7. WHERE TWO OR THREE ARE GATHERED IN HIS NAME….76

    8. FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS…………………………………..95
    9. SUFFERING SERVANTS ……………………………..…………….99
    10. INTO YOUR HANDS WE COMMEND OUR SPIRIT………109

    Excerpt from Chapter Seven

    WHERE TWO OR THREE ARE GATHERED IN HIS NAME

    In every relationship trust is required. As Jesus repeatedly tells us, “what is needed is trust.” Lk 8:50, Mk 5:36. In prayer trust can be built little by little, but the trust that is ultimately required from the individual is the trust that puts God first.

    Prayer is meant to be the beginning of a budding relationship with God. Thus, it can no longer simply be about the self. It is not in essence a wish list designed to fulfil individual needs or desires.

    God is not, after all, the servant of the individual. Rather, God desires to set us free of our worldly desires. He seeks ultimately to set us free from the heavy burden of self-centricity and choice. Through prayer we must work our way up to the level of trust and relationship that would allow this freedom to occur.

    In a world where we may choose to live without God, the daily choices we must make regarding who we shall be and what we shall do, eventually become difficult and tiresome. Thus, we are ultimately invited to set aside these worries and allow God to show us the kind of flower He wishes us to become. The question for us then is can we let God be who He wants to be – in us?

    Accordingly, it is Jesus once again who tells us:

    “Come to me, all you who are weary and find life burdensome.

    I will refresh you. Take my yoke upon your shoulders and learn from

    me, for I am gentle and humble of heart. Your souls will find rest, for

    my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mt. 11:28-29.

    By these words, Jesus is not telling us that life will be easy. The yoke he speaks of is not the yoke of the world, for the yoke of the world is never easy. He is speaking of the existential yoke of choice. God loved each individual into existence by the creation of a self-centric universe. Though it is all freely given, the burdens of freedom never end – glorious as freedom seems to be. To find the peace Jesus speaks of, we must offer up and return the very same gifts of freedom and choice back to God.

    Thus it is said that the there is only one thing greater than freedom and that is dependence on God – who died twice for freedom – in Creation and on the Cross.

    We have come now to a serious point. We know what it means to enjoy the world. What does it mean to enjoy a relationship with God?

    Ultimately, it must mean to forego the will. For what else do we really have to offer that is of any value to Him whatsoever? Consider once again that creation is entirely about bringing forth the lone individual into freedom. Foregoing the will as an offering to God means that we finally stand on the same plane. Each offers the other all that there is to offer. It means letting go of all that we have been given as we grow in the understanding that it does not satisfy. It means the dawn of a wisdom that the world cannot be the goal but only a tool to reach it. It means taking the great leap of faith to a destination that cannot be known. It contemplates the subordination of the will of the individual to the will of God. Prayer is the mechanism by which the individual prepares to make this commitment. Prayer is also the means to sustain it.

    Foregoing the will is accomplished exactly by discovering who God intends for you to be. The act of prayer intends to discover and pursue one’s truest and best self. It intends to secure the self in truth and thereby free it from all fear and anxiety. In this freedom, love flourishes. There are a select few individuals in each one’s circle of acquaintances who exhibit a joy of living. They are joyful in their work, joyful in their homes, joyful with their friends and with most strangers. They seem more than most, to be right with the world and there is little that gets them down. But, they are not right with the world. They are right with God. They are the flowers they were chosen to be and in God’s garden the worries of the world are set aside. All Christians and all who aspire to God are called to this same joy.

    Prayer ultimately seeks the joy of God’s glory. It is a devotion of time and talent to the Lord. It leads to relationship, dialogue and partnership. It is an interior journey that, one day, hopes to manifest itself in the world for God. It exposes the heart, the mind and the soul to truth, the truth of God and the truth of you.

    In a self-centric universe foregoing the will is an epic commitment. It is a stone cold assessment of the limits of life. It is the apex of freedom from which the great leap of faith must be made for an everlasting love. Frighteningly, it is a leap that must be made without looking. The wall of separation from God is very hard and very real. There can never be the physical proof that God exists nor that the leap of faith is eternally rewarding.

    Prayer, however, does have its effects. Though prayer cannot break down the wall of separation, it can collapse the universe into a tether line from the finite to the infinite. It drags one not into heaven, but unexpectedly into the heart. It pulls one within – as one individual before the infinite God. It leads to a dynamic self-examination, in preparation for the possibility of relationship. It leads to an understanding that saying “yes” to God is not the mere utterance of a word.

    The great object of prayer is to pursue and become the unique individual you were made to be, that you choose to be, before God. In prayer one seeks to relate to God in that unique particularity that only God and each individual can share. The whole of the universe thus narrows down into the relationship between one God and one individual.

    By the miracle of love, the God of the universe desires us to return to Him. The question is, do we want what He wants? It is an amazing concept to realize that we can dialogue with God and even say “no” to Him. But it is a cause of worship that we can say “yes”. However, the undeniable truth revealed in saying “yes” to God is the simultaneous recognition that we are far from ready.

    Change is required. Ultimately, prayer is essentially about this change. In prayer we invite the Lord into our hearts. We open up and stand unshielded. We seek the Master’s help and we are predisposed to accept it. The change contemplates a transformation from self-centered to God-centered; from the admiration sought in the world, to the love of God who is outside of it.

    Prayer is the means and method to truly see ourselves objectively and then to seek the change necessary to conform ourselves to the good. It is the time set aside to recollect our place in the universe, conscious always of God, and to discover how to exist in His presence as His sincere and devoted friend. This is prayer.